14 September

Bahah I so nearly fell asleep in school about 4 times today, whoops! Lol it's not my fault I was awake until 4 this morning...I blame the pixies ¬¬ And I feel quite ill today, lol, been coughing up my lungs =P how very attractive! XD Was well grouchy this morning, I was snapping at my dad lol. Ah well, home now =] maybe go to sleep for a bit soon and then wake up to my wonderous piles of homework....joy :P. But, on the plus side, I have oreos and tea, which is an asotnishingly good combination! Tidy XD

But other than my grouchy-ness, I have been in a really good mood the past couple of weeks =] surprising for me, I know :P But I dunno, things just seem to be pretty good atm =D

Au revoir smellies, I shall write soon! x

New favourite song =]

Birds and Boats-Gregory And The Hawk

If you'll be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

And you can sky-rocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by

If you be my boat
I'll be your sea
The depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity
Ebbing and flowing and pushed by a breeze
I live to make you free
I live to make you free

But you can set sail to the west if you want to
And past the horizon till I can't even see you
Far from here where the beaches are wide
Just leave me your wake to remember you by

If you'll be my star
I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I live to let you shine
I live to let you shine

But you can sky-rocket away from me
And never come back if you find another galaxy
Far from here with more room to fly
Just leave me your stardust to remember you by
Stardust to remember you by

08 September

GAWD cannot be arsed with school lol, too much homework! (I rarely do it but it's stressful knowing it's there XD) lol but other than that I've been in a really good mood the past while =] it's been good lol. My brother's birthday today lol, the last year he's going to be a teenager! XD makes me feel old saying that about my brother :P I mean I'm sixteen in 9 months, scary scary shit lol. Ooh speaking of sixteenths, Ashleigh's nearly sixteen and she's having a party for it a week on Saturday which should be good =D

Had a busy weekend lol, it's taking a lot to get used to having to get up early on a Saturday morning lol but I'm coping with it cos of the £25 I get :P. Had Mahri over on Friday night so Declan came round, oh joy XD lol then after work on Saturday I went into Edinburgh to see Nathan, which was pretty good =]. I then came home and ate approximately 3.7 tonnes of food, mostly from the chippy XD lol and then I went up to Eilidh's with Mahri and Jaerin and passed out at like half nine XD. Whoops :P was Eilidh's birthday on Sunday so stayed for dinner at hers which was fun =] and then I came home and ignored my homework and went on msn XD all in all, a successful weekend =P

But I think that's enough rambling for one blog, bye xx

03 September

Today has been pretty good again =] first full day at school this week, oops XD was having some proper good banter with Eilidh today =D it was goooood. Got shit loads of homework though, getting stressed out already lol, dread to think about my prelims =O and my actually exams! Gawd. I've been thinking a lot today as well, something really good happened last night so I'm happy =]. Been missing some stuff though, but I just gotta keep reminding myself of the whole story and not edit out the bad bits, lol. I have a tendency to do that sometimes. Was pissing it down with rain today, was so cheesed off lol. Ah well, gotta live with the good old Scottish weather =D. Might have some more of my crappy apple pie in a bit, was a tad of a fail but oh well, no one died so it was a success =D. Anyways enough for today me thinks, byeseybye =]

02 September

Lalalala in a good mood today =] even though I got a detention from a twat of a geography teacher, lol, but oh well XD went home at break today cos I'm SHATTERED, not been sleeping well at all but I'm surprisingly cheery despite that :P found it quite ironic cos at four this morning when I couldn't sleep I was reading a Stephen King book called Insomnia XD (which, incidentally, is very good =] third time reading it lol). Made an apple pie today, it's quite retarded XD lol not tried any yet but if you don't get a blog tomorrow it'll be from the food poisoning :P. Haha got an operation to remove the mole on my back on Monday and it hurts now but I'm glad its gone, plus I get two weeks off P.E. =P. Anyways enough for now me thinks, I'll write again soon, don't miss me too much! Lol =] xxx

.

I know I'm a bad person. I know I'm cold, cruel and whatever else you want to call me. I know I did wrong and I know I hurt you and I am sorry for that. But hey, at least you know a fraction of the pain you've caused and are still causing me. So don't start with me, don't bring up everything I'm trying so hard to bury. You'll thank me for leaving your life one day because you'll be able to see all my flaws and be happy about being rid of them. And the differences between us as you call them are a load of crap because differences do not influence choices. You chose to do what you did and I chose to do what I did. I don't want you dead, and I'm offended that you would think I would ever want that of anyone. Shows how well you know me I suppose. To be honest I'm really hurt by everything you wrote but who cares right, just another wound you're giving me. And I'm offended on my friends behalf because they have never done anything even remotely as bad as what you did to me. None of them have betrayed me, or broken me like you have. It's not my fault I can't trust you, it's yours because of what you chose to do. I'm glad you're being strong about this, I'm glad you have people in your life you love and who love you back because even if I don't want to be a part of it, I still want a good life for you. Don't blame good fortunes or whatever for this, did you ever think that maybe I still hate myself after what happened? Because I still blame myself. I can't have been that good a friend (not even girlfriend, just a friend) if you could hurt me that badly. I think getting with you was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made because it ruined everything when you cheated on me. You knew how much that would hurt me, I told you so many times that that would be the one thing that I would never be able to get past but yet you did it anyway. You promised me you wouldn't as well, you lied to my face about it when you came to Scotland and promised me again you'd never do that but you already had. And that makes you much worse than the person that hurt me the first time round and you know who I'm talking about. He never promised me anything so I had no right to expect anything. He was never my supposed best friend so what he did was superficial compared to what you did.

And if you get so upset by the lyrics on my page then don't look because I never asked you to. And btw I'd like you to post my tops and shorts back, but you can keep w.e stuff I gave you.

31 August

(8)It Made Me Learn To Hate You, Or Hate Myself For Letting It Pass By(8)